Jurassic Impact:The Dinosaur Agenda, Dinosaur Education, and a New Mascot

They are as solid as petrified oak. They are huge, terrifying monsters! Why, the dinosaurs are back. You may be wondering why they are so

small…great question. When they were originally at museums and came alive, there wasn’t enough meat for them to sustain their size. In other words, they had to become vegetarians. As former carnivores, it makes sense that they shrunk and are now miniature.

Dinosaurs are very tired from being asleep for millions of years, and must rest during the day. They only move around at night. What are

prehistoric monsters called when they sleep? A dinosnore! The dinosaurs have been spotted at different areas of campus each day. One day they are amongst themselves in the Atrium, the next they are in the Writing Center.

Is there a political agenda involved? We think not. However, some of them seem to be researching numerous, education-related topics. They have been spotted reading about student government, as well as researching different schools they want to transfer to. One in particular,  Rex, spoke to me about the dinosaur agenda. Rex reports, “We are actively working to be recognized as official student body members. The world is a very different place since we’ve last been in it. So we want to take classes and earn associate’s degrees. If we are educated dinosaurs, we can be effective dinosaurs.”

Rex concluded the interview with a bold statement. Rex reports, “It is my dream to become a school mascot. After researching schools, we

realized that all great colleges have a mascot. Seattle Central is a great college. Where is our mascot? As the largest Cretaceous dinosaur of Seattle Central, I, Tyrannosaurus Rex, elect myself to be Seattle Central’s mascot!”

Now, imagine Rex. He is two inches tall and orange. Rex’s voice is two octaves higher than you would think a dinosaur’s would be. Cute, right? We thought so too!

There are other dinosaurs who appear to be potential candidates and have declared that they too are running. The candidates are Bronti the Brontosaurus, Leo the Liopleurodon, and Speedy the Velociraptor.

Over 50 different dinosaurs have been sighted so far, yet trends indicate that many more will be attending. Seattle Central College allows students who have not yet completed a high school diploma to attend. Very few dinosaurs have any formal education. The most educated dinosaur we know is a Thesaurus. They do, however, have sharp teeth and an edge to learn. They have a primal intelligence to them. Running Start dinosaurs have yet to be confirmed.

Remember to share with others that the dinosaurs are coming into our school, and that we should treat them like any other person. Don’t be alarmed by their size, either. No dinosaurs over three inches have been reported yet, but they are known to be as large as 50 feet.

By Jake Senn

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